one of those nights

tonight is just one of those nights that i dont feel like doing anything except blogging. enjoying my late night playlist, not thinking about anything.

i dont blame others for calling me a workaholic. it is just a name. i dont really care. i understand that life is all about choices. i choose to be part of this project and i should at least try to put in my best for it. i made this decision so i shall pay the price. i dont know how my outside friends view it, but i will hate myself for not putting in enough effort. i choose to be that busy, heavily involved in this project. just bear with me for a few more days and hoepfully, i will be back to being a normal student.

the deadline i once said was end of june, and then july and now, it is finally august and why am i still doing the same thing i did a few months ago? every time i go in, i asked myself the same question over and over again. it is for the sake of money i am not being a materialistic girl here. i am just trying to be independent here, to earn what i spend. up to this age, i cannot see myself begging my parents for money. just substitute my job with tuition and wont i be like normal?

everything only seems to be over after thursday. i need courage to push on till the end of the month. how i wish she was still lying next to me.